There are plenty of things you can do to spice up your sex life (find my earlier tip here or another idea here) even if you’ve been with your partner for a long time. But you don’t need to buy fancy sex toys or to contort your body to make things extra streamy. All you need is a break from how you and your partner usually interact. And the best way to do that? Embracing some out-there roleplay ideas.
Roleplay is basically a vacation from your everyday lives without having to go anywhere. It can be an opportunity to re-write your own sexual history, enact a long-held fantasy, or simply be sexual in a way that is distinctly different from your typical persona. If you can get over an expected bit of initial awkwardness, role playing might just lead to the best sex you’ve ever had.
And as sex worker I often get to do sexy role plays with my long time clients and I can assure you: engaging in erotic role play in a mindful way can do much more than fuel to the fire in your loins. The type of communication and trust involved in releasing one’s everyday self to explore within the context of role play can enhance bonding and intimacy between partners. Plus, the sexual creativity, excitement, and intensity that comes with sharing your role play ideas and then acting on them can flow over into other types of interactions.
Before engaging in any sort of role play, you and your partner have to have a serious conversation. That’s when you negotiate the roles, find common interests, establish boundaries, and set soft and hard limits. Both parties must consent to every aspect of the scene and the roles you’ll be taking on. You should also establish safe words or gestures that will slow or stop the scene and make sure they’re crystal clear.
This process doesn’t only define the roles and interaction of that particular sex scene you’re creating; it also helps foster a sense of collaboration that can deepen your connection and intimacy outside of the bedroom.
What happens after sex is referred to as “aftercare,” —and it’s an equally collaborative process. Aftercare can involve deconstructing the scene and what worked and didn’t work, or cuddling, snacking, chilling, making out, basically whatever all parties agree helps them get back into their everyday headspace.
It all sounds great but you are struggling to think of suitable a scenario? Here are a few ideas that are easy to act upon and the satisfaction at the end is guaranteed. You don’t have to do follow serious script: just do and say whatever feels right and natural for both of you. The idea is to have fun and enjoy each others’ company in a new way.
Special Delivery
If you don’t feel like cooking tonight and want to explore a new role play idea, this is your ideal scenario. Let’s say you order a meat lover’s pizza and you thought you had a $20 bill in your pocket. But when the sexy pizza delivery person arrives, it’s nowhere to be found. You ask if you can make it up to them another way, and well… you get the idea.
You’re My Inspiration
Indulge your artistic side by having your partner come into the room, disrobing, and posing as a model for you. As you gaze upon your newfound muse, you faithfully draw, paint, or capture their visage in whatever way moves you. I have personally played this scenario a number of times where my role is the model and my partner is the naughty photographer. He often has various outfits ready for me (mostly bikinis and sexy lingerie) and asks me to change in front of him, which adds extra excitement to the game. Just make sure it moves you to the bedroom.
Strangers in the Night
If you want a sexy fresh start with your partner, simply pretend you’ve never met them before. This type of role play can involve a pick up in a bar, or an online hookup. Playing a stranger or anonymous person allows for a creative exploration of sexual identity and preferences. Exchange seducing emails before the date to create the perfect base for an erotic night. You also have to use your skills of seduction to flirt and explore your partner with fresh eyes.
Teach Me Everything You Know
Even if you and your partner have both been around the block, assume the roles of someone who is sexually inexperienced and someone who has some special techniques to share. This scenario is an opportunity to rewrite your sexual history and recapture (or create) the exciting thrill of first-time sex over and over again.
Cheaters Sometimes Prosper
Meet your partner in an unfamiliar place, like a hotel, and try to disguise yourself. Then, you can have a lot of fun taking off that wig and those sunglasses. This role play scenario creates a feeling of the forbidden and taboo and simulates a dangerous situation in which getting caught could have dire consequences. I used this technique by setting up dates in public places (of course not in the middle of the street) where we could have been caught. That adds a great amount of adrenalin to the game.
Business & Pleasure
One of you is a sex worker and the other is the client who’s hired this person for the night. Put the money on the nightstand and wait for the doorbell to ring. If you’re the sex worker, list what’s on offer and what’s not. If you’re the client, set out what you’d like to happen. Once you’ve done the negotiating, you can have sex that’s entirely transactional.
A Serious Workout
We know why you’re flexing at the gym. You have your eye on your trainer, who looks so good making you sweat. Perhaps it’s time you hit the showers together.
Down Payment
The real estate agent that’s showing you around a place you’re thinking of buying is even sexier in person than you expected to be based on the profile picture. There are tons of beds around, so let’s see if you can close this deal.
Rescue Me
The enduring role play about firefighters seems to work for a lot of people. After all, firefighters have a reputation of being sexy and brave. And is there anything more romantic than someone literally saving you or you risking your life for someone?
These are just a few ideas to get you started. Finding your own script is so much more fun than following ideas of others. Think about your own fantasies, jobs that you find sexy and create a little story around it. If you like dancing, you may be the sexy dance instructor who gives a private lesson to his partner. If you like giving massages (and you are good at it) do a little massage session that will surely involve a “happy end”. LOL
And remember: the goal is to give and receive pleasure and keep up the spark between you and your partner. Have fun experimenting!
Love,
Eline xxx
